27th oct & other people

they aren't speaking to the toy today but they sent it pictures and a video of what they're doing instead — being with their partner. their partner touching them. their partner kissing them. it has to look at pictures/video and never avoid them due to its rules. it hurts the toy to see this and to think of it. that's all they wanted with it today. it's ao desperate for them, for their attention. and its very grateful that it got their attention, even just for this. it didn't hear much from them yesterday either. it hurts. it doesn't know what he feels about this but he looked like he was enjoying himself as much as they were, and they told it he'd commented (joked?) once before about using the toy to bring them water while they fuck. they have made it clear how excited they are to make the toy watch them get fucked. it hadn't felt what it felt today before. they made it clear the pictures and video were fresh, sent directly as they did it. and then they stopped. so now the toy knows what they're doing in real time. and they have banned it from porn so now it only allowed to look st pictures and videos of them — and, because it isn't allowed to avoid princess' play with other people, it is going to have to look at these pictures and video of them together. it wants its princess so badly. it feels pushed down by this. it makes it wonder if it isn't mortally inappropriate to think of them that way, like its not the toy's place. they corrected it once before. it thinks about being kept in an animal crate in their room, kept perfectly in position by dowling rods pushed through the bars, while they fuck. told it must watch them. a gag in its mouth making it drool uncontrollably for them and never allowed to make a sound because it has been trained not to demand attention, so its always kept gagged — it only ever receives attention when its princess remembers it and feels like giving it something. the toy has realised that it has a hard time (in a way its princess would enjoy) with anytime to do with other people. and its princess seems to enjoy involving other people a lot. telling their friends and partners what they do to it, especially if it then has to hang out with, be friends with them. even more so if it's ever talked about while the toy is there. so its going to have a really hard time (in a way they'll enjoy) when they give it to someone else to play with. or when its princess might play with it, or even just treat it badly, while someone else is around. its need for its princess will grow over time and it's frightened of their threats to make it play with anyone else that isn't them. that need pushes anyone else out. if its owner pushes it hard and deep enough, then even someone it might have wanted outside of the dynamic... can stop being that. the toy obsesses over its owner. which then gives its owner more fodder to use this has a tease against it. it thinks about being kept to serve its princess, but also any of their partners, such that they might tell it to take care of their needs as well. forced to give them deep respect as well. forced to observe its rules around them. and how hard it would find that.

anything that its princess does with their partners but doesn't do it is painful. more so if they never did, such has enjoying someone going down on them.
and everything is always more painful when they tell it, grinding it in, mocking it. it wonders if the same applies to a friend or partner doing the same.

then, there is the emotional side. one conversation that sticks with the toy is when its princess told it "yeah but i like :)" to imply they didn't like the toy. this hurt terribly. going on to say "you’re not on the same level as him" which concerned the toy existentially. they have said some other things that negate this so it worries less about its position. the toy is desperate. it needs its princess. it's nervous about what they might do with it, nervous in a way that it knows they'll like. it's pretty vulnerable to them. it hasn't been very well behaved because it's not always feeling dominated, and therefore is not submissive and obedient. which it doesn't like but it understands. however it knows when they decide to begin pushing things forward, it will be very vulnerable to them. it knows when its princess starts tying it up and beating it while keeping it denied, it'll lose itself to them a little. it knows it's liable to fall further if they continue getting colder and meaner and unforgiving with it. it worries about the intense, desperate need for them (in a way they would like) because they enjoy playing attention games and mind games with it. it might be torn apart watching its princess give themselves to others, play with others, give attention to others, and not to the toy. it knows it will hurt. it wonders what it would do, at that point, to try to get their attention. or whether they would ban that, given that attention-seeking would likely be disobedience—when perfect obedience is supposed to the be-all-and-end-all. the toy worries (in a way its princess would like) about its owner driving that hard and deep — treating it like that. taking it — that it becomes dependent on them. it needs them to eat, sleep and breathe. and it worries about what it would take to get there, how badly it would be treated. the intensity of its feelings. though an owner that would take it that far would be enjoying themselves and it knows that's all that would matter, its service to them. fuck it needs pain. it needs to be hurt. it needs to be beaten. bindithurtitbreakit hurtithurtithurtitfuckkkkk